Cruelty of life? Maybe...

Working on this blog at 11.30pm, 22nd June 2005, Wednesday...

Sigh.. Not a good day.. Moody the entire day.. Did not even enjoy myself @ all doing anything.. First & foremost, we had the CEO coming to visit our centre.. And I simply dun understand what's the fuss abt!!.. Principal asked us to do work with the chdn at 9.30 after breakfast 'coz the CEO and big shot can see the chdn doing work, WHEN THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING ASSEMBLY.. What nonsense is this!!!.. Like as if the pple will not pass by tmr and many more days after tt.. And the chdn will forever be doing work at that hr?.. Why make everything so artificial, I cannot understand that.. Be natural lah!!.. SO FAKE FOR WHAT.. Pack up the place a little - this I can understand 'coz it's logical.. Wear a little nicer.. NONSENSE.. Since when have we dressed sloppily?.. Were we in bikinis and super plunging tops all along??.. CRAP.. Same logic lor.. Like when they pass by on other days we'll forever be dressing up izit.. SIAO.. Work with chdn, most imptly dress comfortably mah.. restrict urself for whatttttttt.. Very fake.. Extremely.. What is the purpose for the show?.. To display your perfectness hidden under other pple's efforts?..

Had a heated arguement with my supervisor this morning.. She talks without using her brains, that pissed many of my collegues off alot of times.. A K2 boy came to me this morning and say "My mother say gif my sister work." I was like "Huh? We've been giving ur sister work all along during lessons mah." The boy say "My mother say gif my sister work to bring hme.".. Then that supervisor of mine came along and said she told the mom the daughter is very weak in her work, need alot of help.. In the first place.. The supervisor IS NOT THE CLASS FORM TEACHER.. SHDN'T SHE CONSULT AND DISCUSS WITH THE CLASS TEACHERS FIRST BEFORE TELLING THE MOM SUCH STUFF!!!.. That is RESPECT lor for goodness sake.. Then the mom nicely suggested giving her daughter work home to do la.. She pay alot for sch fees izit.. She cannot buy assessments outside huh.. Why shd we provide her with assessment materials?.. Do this for one parent, and if others know they haf all the right to demand for the same what.. Ultimately who's getting more and more work?.. IT'S US THE FORM TEACHERS LOR!!.. Bloody hell.. Parents say what also okok, nv think.. Always like to exercise such nonsense on we teachers.. I told my supervisor "What kind of work she expects from us? We cannot be giving her daughter the work other chdn haven't done b4 mah.. Unfair what.".. That dumb supervisor went on retorting.. "Nvm.. I DO. If everyone finds it a chore.. I do.".. Feel like slapping her u noe.. Putting words into my mouth. SINCE WHEN HAF I SAID ITS A CHORE TO DO ALL THESE? And she was the one who said WORK HOME EVERYDAY.. That's why I'm mad tt she agreed to that bloody mom.. What everyday?.. We rotate the 3 groups every 3 days.. Where got so much things to bring home everyday?.. Maths/English/Chinese lessons are once every 3 days for the chdn.. U tell me la.. Where to dig up such stuff.. Alot of time izit.. AND that dumb supervisor suddenly realised it's her mistake tt she mentioned everyday.. I confronted her & that's y I knew abt this.. I told her it's not that we dun want to do lor.. It's that everyday, quite unreasonable.. And I told her straight "I know u r thinking I can't be bothered and I dun want to do anything.. Let me tell u IT'S NOT. It's not that no one bothers to put in any effort u noe.. But if the daughter doesn't like it, the more we force her by doing this the more she'll hate sch lor..".. BLOODY HELL.. she can nicely ans me back "I thought u din put in any effort and dun bother.".. WAH KAOZ.. Pple, tell me pls.. SINCE WHEN HAF I NOT PUT IN EFFORT AND DUN BOTHER ABT THE CLASS AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. aRGHhhHHHHHhhh... The worst thing u can ever said to a teacher is to mention such things lor.. What do you gauge effort put in and vice versa?.. Pple who works hard not appreciated.. Pple who escapes , gets away scott free.. Fair? NOOoooooo.. I shed my energy for the chdn.. Shed tears out of frustration.. Gotten myself dead beat tired every single day.. Worked OT everyday to finish up my work.. U CALL ALL THESE NOT PUTTING IN EFFORT?.. U tell me lah.. Who will not be pissed.. And she was saying this in frnt of all the chdn lor.. Who'll smile away whan hearing this?.. That person must b mad.. Like her la.. No brains to think when they talk.. Supervisor.. A crappy one lor.. First thing in the morning when I go work banged with such nonsense.. Plus those insulting comments from a person who calls herself a supervisor.. PISSEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.............. Sigh.. And very very very upset.. =( ..

Now I began to wonder.. Am I really such a bad tcher?.. Sigh.. I admit I'm not one; nobody is perfect.. But do u haf to say such things to crush a person's esteem?.. I do scold the chdn.. U think chdn can be as easy as 2 decades back that's easy to handle?.. Was extremely moody.. Feel like screwing her up.. That mother is an extremely fussy one; she already got subsidised for her 2 chdn's sch fees.. Ask for so much nvm u noe.. But can never be appreciative lor.. Why am I working so hard for?.. What do I get in the end?.. Doing so much no one ever appreciates?.. I'm not exactly happy in my work actually.. Sigh.. But I'm in a dilemma.. I dunno what I shd do.. I persist on I'll continue to get myself upset, angry.. But if I do go, I know I'll regret.. Life's all about making decisions isn't it.. Tough ones...

Anyway went for dinner with my 2 aunties and their families at CWP.. Ate at Jack's Place.. Delicious food.. No appetitte.. My family are still the best.. They understands me the best.. They care most for me.. They'll never say anything to insult me, they'll never hurt me in anyway for sure.. Not like some dumb ones..

Currently feeling very very veryyyyyyyyyyy down....