Beginning of 2006..

How shall I say? Not exactly wonderful..

Many a times I feel I'm almost going mad. Never worked like this before. Stayed back till 11+ on a Friday night, went back over the weekend and still can't finish. Then I went to work the following week so sianz 'coz I've been seeing the same place literally 24/7. A lot, a lot ahead... *imagining the future*... Many of my frns have quitted what they call their place hell. And they sound extremely happy. Especially WanLing. Whenever our clique meet up, we always urge her to quit, year after year, and is particuarly pleased that she finally did. Haa.. And they too, keep urging me to quit! I too feel I need to go at some point lah, but when is the thing lor. One side of me says I cannot leave my class in the midst with a change of teacher especially now they are in K2, they need consistency. But the other side told me I'm quite going towards the limit. Sigh.. What to do? I look at the papers everyday and ask myself: Where can I go? .. Anyone can give me a good piece of advice? Pls.. Plss.. Hope for me that I can find an answer soon..

Going 24 this year, old already. That day I was playing with my cousin, and some sort calculated where will I be when he's my age. He's 22 years younger than me, when he is 24, I'm like 46 already?! VERY VERY OLD LOR!! What will I be doing? Waiting to surrender my policy? Married with chdn bugging me everyday? Or what? Cannot bear to imagine..

You know, when a person starts another milestone of their life, different things bother them. A teenegar bothers about when the curfew gets lifted; think about the hangout place the next weekend; how wonderful if there is more $; once $ is in hand go shopping, movies... etc.. Things so minor. But an adult worries about the pay pocket; is the earnings enough to cover; once $ is in it's to pay bills, insurance, money to parents, transport, savings; we worry about our life, thinking about movies is not an issue coz many times we can't even find enough time to sleep and rest.

I thought a lot about myself. You? I think I have to start to be more disciplined in savings. Plenty of things bother me recently; everything in and out. When can I ever have peace and moments to myself? When can there be a day I'll be pampered? (even though I will never let myself be spoilt) .. When can I feel safe and secure that things will be taken care for?

Can there be an answer for me soon? I'm still hoping.. I want a definate answer that will lead me wisely and tactfully along the future I've to take for myself and others too...